When Terry Met Julie

“We were never dating anyways, were we?” Terry said while slamming the door at Juliette’s face.

I introduced Terry and Juliette a couple months ago. I never thought they would get along. Well, indeed they did not except maybe sex wise. According to July, Terry was incredibly amazing in bed.  Kind, sweet, tender in another words he was the perfect lover. As Terry’s best friend, I knew that this statement was only partially true. He was nice but that was only to get whomever he wanted in his bed. He had this particular skill that enabled him to make any girl he wanted fall in love with him. At least that’s what I thought.

During my really interesting lunch with Julie I asked her how she felt about him. Her answer blew my mind away. “Well he is great in bed but as a boyfriend… ewww not even in my worse nightmares…” she said looking for the last piece of chicken in her Caesar salad.  That was a first. Terry the serial dater did not get Julie the perfect romantic chick to fall in love with him. I just couldn’t believe it. Giving the circumstances I could understand that Julie wouldn’t want a relationship at the moment but I really thought only I could resist to Terry’s charm.

Later that night we were all gathered for Julie’s sister’s birthday. I had to find Terry and tell him that the sweet little blond cheerleader did not care an ounce about him. “This bitch!” … He did not react the way I expected him to, obviously he cared more than I thought. As soon as I told him my delightful story he started hunting for a new prey, a new girl he would put into his bed tonight. He was intentionally trying to hurt my friend. Why is it fine when boys don’t care but upsetting when we don’t? Is there a rule that says that we have to be into every single guy we have sex with? Do men think that women are incapable of having meaningless sex?

When Julie saw Terry all over this other girl she stared at him for a while and left the room, uncomfortable but not bothered so much. He followed her and grabbed her harm. “We were never dating anyways, were we?” Terry said while slamming the door at Juliette’s face. Juliette was a bit confused but couldn’t help not laughing. She couldn’t care any less and was pretty proud of her self for putting Terry in such a mood. Witnessing the whole scene I came to the conclusion that romantics might be serial daters after all. 

Ain't No Superman

Five dates. That’s usually how long I wait until I get into someone’s bed. Seems pretty fair to me. But when superman invites you over, you don’t want to wait 5 dates, do you? That night, when my own superman invited me to stay over, I couldn’t resist to the invitation and wait any longer. We hardly had one date but it didn’t matter cause I knew he had super powers as every super heroes.

The truth is, I needed to be rescued. I had just split up with my ex boyfriend and I had never felt so lonely. This guy that I barely knew just happened to be at the right place at the right moment. He couldn’t be anything else than a super hero who came to save me. Or could he? As the night was getting darker and darker my mysterious hero and I started to get physically closer and closer into his bed. I was waiting for my man to wildly snatch off my bra… He never did. All he did was kissing me and holding me really tight, like he never wanted me to leave him. Like I was the one rescuing him.  Yes, my superman needed me at least as much as I needed him that night.

The next morning as I was lying next to my so-called super hero I had to think of how weird and uncomfortable things could be between us now. I left his place without saying a word. Maybe I should have because after that night I never really heard from him again. After a week, I started wondering. Who can we really call superman? Do we really need to be rescued? And if we do, does it really have to be by some handsome guy in his room? After thinking about it over and over trying to find a good explanation I came to a simple conclusion. It turns out superman was nothing more than a human being that I had been idealizing for weeks. So note to self: next time stick to five dates.

RUMOR HAS IT!

Juliette was devastated. “Rumor has it Charlotte, he is seeing someone else.” She stammered between two tears. This was those kind of situations where you don’t know what to say to your friend; because you know how much she is hurt and whatever you will say, there is no word that will make her feel better. Julie was a really strong and beautiful tiny woman but when it came to feelings, she was the weakest person I knew. She got so involved in all of her relationships and her expectations were so high that when she came down… Well, instead of softly landing, she would crash every single time.

Why do man need to break our heart in order to stroke their ego? How more perfect do we have to be in order to keep our boyfriends away from cheating on us? What does the other woman have that we don’t? Juliette and her boyfriend were in a long distance relationship since almost a year. I’ll agree that the context wasn’t the best you can except for but he knew what he was getting himself into when he accepted to be in this relationship. There is no excuse to cheat on someone. It is lame and selfish. I mean, after a whole year of devotion to the other one how can you just forget what you had in one night.  Because yes, that’s usually what it takes. One little nightstand and you are out of the picture forever.

            That night, Julie just couldn’t stop crying. I knew too well what she was going thru and how hard the next couple weeks were going to be. She needed the support of a true friend more than ever. At one point, eyes full of tears, she asked me, “Charlotte, please tell me, how do you recover from such a big injury?” Even if I knew you never really do, I said, “Time will heal, just put one feat in front of the other and get thru the day. At least, that’s how I get by.”

Never Have I Ever Been In Love

“Never have I ever been in love” said Tom. He laid back on his chair and everyone stared at him. At this very moment, no one knew what to say and the game took a whole new turn. Talking about sex is easy and fun but when it comes to real feelings then the situation becomes almost uncomfortable. Tom, twenty-three, was what I would call a pretty boy. There were nothing remarkable about his appearance but he was sweet and charming. He didn’t seem to be a womaniser or a heartbreaker, which made it really hard to believe that he had never been in love. Perhaps he was over thinking it; or maybe we were. Come to think about it, how can we be sure we are in love? What makes a relationship so special that you can tell the other one such a powerful phrase?

I had seen Tom before, but I never really analyzed him. Never wondered what his life was like. The truth is, I didn’t even want to know too much about him because I was afraid it would ruin the image I had of him; this image of a perfect romantic guy. What if in real Tom had understood relationships better than us; maybe he was just waiting for the right person so he wouldn’t waste his feelings with some “flirts”. Even though I knew that it wasn’t such a big deal I couldn’t stop looking at him and think: “What a waste!”. If nowadays even nice guys don’t fall in love then, let’s face it, we are totally screwed.

Later I asked Tom why he never fell in love. He couldn’t answer. He explained me that he probably hadn’t stayed with a girl long enough to fall in love. He also told me that he had been travelling so much that he didn’t had the chance to meet someone and settle down with her. That same night I told Tom, “Better alone than badly accompanied anyways right?” He smiled, I didn’t.

The Serial Dater

I met Terry a couple years ago in downtown Seattle thru a common friend. He was everything I would never like; arrogant, too self-confident and not even good looking. Weirdly, it seemed like I was the only one not attracted to him. He was the kind of guy who brings home a different girl every night and has four relationships at the same time. As I said before, he was not even likable as a friend. At least that’s what I thought. After a few months I learned to know Terry and started to like him. He even finally became a really close friend of mine. It turned out that having a serial dater as one of your best friends can be really useful sometimes. Not only because he will eventually become a sex buddy but also because when he is your friend, he gives you some tips on how to get a man.

A Thursday night at Terry’s apartment. “Hey Terry, it’s me … again. I left you like 5 voice mails today. I don’t really understand why you won’t call me back. I thought we had a great time together last week… I hope you’re okay, please call me back.” That was Lynn letting a sixth message to Terry. I handed him his phone back and asked him. “Why don’t you call her back or answer her phone calls?” “Because she told me she loved me”.

I would agree that this was a bit harsh on the girl but when you start seeing a serial dater, you know what you are getting yourself into. You also know that he might hurt your feelings, so you don’t wan to reveal too much too soon and be emotionally slutty. That night Terry asked me. “When is she going to understand that I do not want to talk to her anymore?” “Huh… when you’ll have the balls to call her and tell her yourself!” at least that’s what I should have said. But I just told him that she would stop calling eventually at one point, he just had to be patient. What’s up with guys who chose silence over honesty anyways? Is it too hard for a man to tell someone that it is over? Or is it just too difficult for a “serial dater” to handle feelings? Maybe that was the problem; guys like Terry chose to avoid those conversations so they won’t have to face their feelings.

The next day at lunch, I asked Terry why he didn’t want to allow his self to love this woman or any other. He looked at me in the eyes and for the first time I felt like I pointed out something deeply hurtful. He said “When I was 16 someone I truly loved broke my heart and since then I only had rebounds.” So that was the problem. After five years and more than 100 rebounds, he still hadn’t get over his first real love. Maybe heartbreakers are romantics after all.

Never-Married Women

Brunch the other day. Vicious gossip with Maggie about a guy she’d just met, one more of her disastrous date. “You see Charlotte, I really liked the guy but in the end they are all the same… All they want is sex” she said. Maggie is thirty nine years old and we all know that for a woman being single with no kids and no divorce at this age only means one thing for men: trouble. We also all know that for men trouble girls lead to steamy sex but nothing more. Serious men don’t want to get attached to someone who seems too instable to settle down. This is not about statistics and there is no exception. Maggie had understood that since a long time and as young as she was trying to look, her real age would always betray her. She can go to the nicest hotels and the fanciest parties but she will never get nothing else then one night stands. How do you get to that disturbing point where you can’t find a proper date anymore? When is it too late to find a husband? As I was talking to Maggie about her miserable relationship situation I was wondering; should we hang on to what we have right now just to be safe? Is security better than passion?  That morning Maggie was so messed up that she almost cried. Now I am sure, I am choosing security over passion.

Later on I was talking with Patrick, a lawyer in his early thirties. I explained him Maggie’s problems hoping that a man’s advice would help me understand. “There is nothing wrong with these women” he said. So I asked. “Why is there so many great women who aren’t married, and no great guys then?” Patrick answered “Because unmarried guys suck!”.

The Break-Up Trip

London is a place where people go to fulfil some needs. It can be shopping or partying, but you just don’t go to the capital of England without any good reason. Mary, a really good friend of mine, had decided to go there in order to clear her head after her recent very painful break-up. She had planned to travel there with her very best friend Charlie.  Both of them were two very attractive young ladies. Charlie was blond with a teeny tiny body, Mary her was a tall brunette with very big blue eyes, physically they kind of completed each other. They knew since elementary school and had already been to vacations together but this trip would be different, they knew it.

Mary and Charlie were sitting at Dirty Martini having a drink. Exhausted from their shopping day, they went there to relax and enjoy their last night in London. The bar was so packed that they decided to sit at the bar. Usually, in France, only guys sit there but that was London so this rule probably didn’t apply there. “This one is on the House, Enjoy girls!” said the bartender. Mary was surprised, not because someone was offering her a drink but because no one had tried to hit on her in years. Charlie grabbed her martini, gave “the nasty look” to the cute bartender and chugged it all at once. Mary said “Someone’s horny!” Charlie did not even hear her friend, too busy looking at her new prey. “Cha, if you keep staring at him like that, he is going to rape you for sure!” Charlie did not move a bit and blurted out “I hope so!”

Later that night Mary found herself on the roof of the bar with her best friend and the two really handsome bartenders. She hadn’t had that much fun in so long. That night, she almost forgot about her ex-boyfriend, until the Abercrombie looking guy started kissing her. She wishes she could have been like her friend careless and reckless but deep inside she knew she was still in love. As Charlie and Grant were heading to Grant’s apartment, Mary decided to go back to her hotel room… alone. She knew she totally could have get laid that night, she just didn’t feel like it.

            As Mary was telling me more about the end of her trip, I started wondering. When is the right time to move on? How can you even be sure that breaking up is the right thing to do when you still have strong feeling for someone? When do you know that enough is enough?

The night she came home from her trip, Mary felt so good about herself for not acting like a whore; she decided that the next man she will have sex with would really mean something to her. Even though she made that promise, it didn’t stop her from dreaming about what could have happened with the hot ass bartender.